Review of “Phantom Bigfoot and the Haunted House”


In this episode of the Phantom Bigfoot trilogy Duane meets his match in the ghost of Old Man Peabody whose eternal slumber is disturbed not only by pranks that threatened the sanctity of his commode but the need to resolve an old-time Big Beaver feud. While Duane continues to fret over whether Lou and “the Verge” will ever get together he finds his Phantom Bigfoot image tarnished by the antics of a true phantom bigfoot who can pass through walls in the tradition of the slime master in Ghostbusters.

I was disappointed in the ending of this volume, mostly because it was indeed an ending. The plot twists were resolved, the Swedish-looking aliens from the planet Abba returned and all was restored to its natural order amidst bigfoot weddings with a famous alien-abducted rockstar (who will remain nameless so as to avoid being a spoiler) for entertainment. I will miss the characters of Big Beaver and their crazy antics which brought me to tearful hysterical laughter numerous times during my virtual visits. If you enjoy off-the-wall humor in the tradition of Mel Brooks and National Lampoon you will enjoy this trilogy which I found tremendously entertaining. No matter how stressful my day had been I knew I’d go to sleep with a smile on my face when I was reading one of Simon’s Phantom Bigfoot stories.


Twitter: @simonokill


Interview With Simon Okill Author of the Phantom Bigfoot Series


MF: What was your original inspiration for the Phantom Bigfoot series?

SO: Me and my big feet always getting in my big mouth and our Burmese cat. Oh boy is she naughty or what which perfectly describes Phantom Bigfoot?

MF: These stories are some of the funniest I’ve read in a long time.   Is it as much fun to write as it is to read?

SO: I was the court jester in school always in trouble for practical jokes and I guess I never really grew out of it so I turned those mad days into Phantom Bigfoot’s adventures. It’s very therapeutic writing stupid stuff that readers enjoy and bringing a smile to them makes my writing that much more satisfying.

MF: Just because a story is preposterous along the lines of National Lampoon or a Mel Brook’s film doesn’t mean it’s poorly written. Your writing style is strong and well-developed which contributes greatly to the story, particularly the vivid descriptions. What else have you written or is this your first foray into fiction?

SO: Thank you Marcha for your kind words. In between my Phantom Bigfoot Series 1-3 I found the time to step into my dark side and write my Luna Series – a two part Gothic vampire romance set in an asylum in France 1925.

MF: Is Big Beaver, the location of your story, based on a real place or entirely a figment of your imagination?

SO: It’s a collection of memories from old westerns, The Waltons and a few horror movies thrown in for good measure. Whether Wyatt Earp actually stayed in Big Beaver is a matter for the historians to decide.

MF: You mentioned to me previously in a chat that much of Phantom Bigfoot’s language is based on your cat, such as the word “smet,” which expresses frustration. Tell us a little about your Burmese cat.

SO: She asked me not to mention her name, she’s a little on the shy side. What’s that, oh yeah, she asked me to tell you all she is a purrfect little princess and never bites the hand that feeds her. Right, as if! I have the scars to prove otherwise. Smet is the noise she makes when she’s really pissed and spits through her nose.

MF: It takes a special talent to write ribald humor. Without skillful descriptions it’s no more than crude and often vulgar but you somehow bring it to an art form. Do you consider yourself funny in real life?

SO: I always try to see the funny side of life which often gets me into trouble. Phantom Bigfoot abides. Once while on holiday, I fell off a 5 bar gate and landed in a dung heap. Unable to wash the muck off I proceeded into a pub and sat down for lunch much to the disgust of other patrons.

MF: Do friends or relatives give you a bad time about the content of your writing or is it what they’d expect from you?

SO: They think I’m all the way bonkers and come to expect that which you have read.

MF: I love Lou and get more laughs out of Walt, the “sewage extraction expert,” than anyone. Who is your favorite character?

SO: Duane is basically me toned down a bit for family viewing. Okay this is gross but true – I was the kid most likely to get beaten up in school due to my lack of height and would have my sarnies eaten by bullies – that’s sandwiches for the uninitiated. Having gotten quite fed up with this daily ritual I played the coolest joke ever and said bullies were rushed to hospital to have their stomachs pumped after eating what they thought were my sausage sandwiches. Need I say more, heehehehhehh!

MF: Are any of your characters based on real people? Or can’t you say?

SO: Well Duane is me, but there is a little of everyone I know from my home town, nuances, character traits, weird habits, even from people I don’t know like whatshisname across the street.

MF: Is there any chance that you may return to Big Beaver in the future or do you intend to let all the werebigfoot characters rest in peace?

SO: Big loaded question – my fans would be most upset if I didn’t continue – so I will next year with 3 more novellas describing Phantom Bigfoot’s adventures in foreign lands.

MF: Do you plan to write anything serious in the future or stick to humor?

SO: My next two books are both comedies, a romantic comedy about alien abduction and a horror comedy set in Cornwall and my own town of Llantwit Major, which is very old and full of ghosty stuff. However, I do have a completed horror novel that retells WWII from two German brothers’ POV, and once edited could be on the shelves early next year.

MF: Do you have any works in progress (WIPs)? Would you like to tell us something about them?

SO: “Hot in Bigelow” is a romantic comedy about stranded aliens who must find the most intelligent man on Earth to get them back home, problem is Bigelow is full of morons. “Murder Most Deadly” is a scary but funny horror following Bianca’s exploits as she murders her way to wealth, but has to contend with the deceased wanting revenge. Set in beautiful Cornwall and Llantwit Major S Wales.


Twitter: @simonokill



PHANTOM BIGFOOT & THE VAMPETTES FROM VENUS: Another Raunchy, Ridiculous Uproarious Ride Thru Big Beaver


In the worthy tradition of the first book of the Phantom Bigfoot series, this one did an excellent job sustaining the action and tacky humor. Not that I have anything against tacky humor because I certainly enjoyed it and laughed as much as before. It was as if the author was just getting warmed up in the first episode. One thing I do want to mention, however, is that before you read this or any subsequent ones you should start with “Phantom Bigfoot Strikes Again.” What makes these stories so endearing is the array of characters which populate them, making it more enjoyable if you start at the beginning and thus have all the context. Otherwise some of the jokes and references won’t make as much sense and you’ll miss out on some of the humor and innuendos which become inside jokes for Phantom Bigfoot fans.

The author does an admirable job developing real and convincing characters which make you feel as if you’re a part of this crazy little California town called Big Beaver. Their personalities are well drawn such that I can now see and hear (and in some cases smell) them in my mind. You would think that outrageous bathroom humor would not include excellent character development yet it does, adding significantly to the story. Consider how much the personality of the characters in various funny movies is inherently tied to the situations whether it’s Dr. Venkman in “Ghostbusters,” Otto in “A Fish Called Wanda,” Frank the Tank in “Old School” or Alan in “The Hangover.” Humor most often results from human action and reaction which is driven by personality, making those involved essential to the story’s delivery. In this, Okill succeeds and therefore gets a “high five.”

There were some parts which actually got a little serious. Not horribly or tragically so, but rather enough to induce a bit of worry that one of the main characters may have lost some of his “edge.” Fortunately, this spell did not last long and by the horrendously disgusting and suitably hilarious grand finale I must say that this sequel matched and possibly exceeded the Funny Factor of the first, a major accomplishment in itself.

If you enjoy old Indian wisdom that declares “man who depends on watch will be late for the rest of his life;” descriptions such as “the Bigfoot had large swinging boobs indicating she was a female”; or bits of scientific truth such as “the human fart is pure methane gas” then you’ll enjoy this book. Indeed the final chapter is a piece of work beyond description that had me laughing so hard my cats left the room, apparently thinking I’d lost my mind. I’d love to share some excerpts which have the potential to become classics but don’t want to be accused of being a spoiler. If you’ve made it through this review without being grossed out then you should read this book. Laughter is truly the best medicine.

PHANTOM BIGFOOT STRIKES AGAIN: Silly, stupid, sophomoric and outrageously hilarious

If you’re looking for an intelligent read, rest assured this ain’t it, though the cover should provide adequate warning. I would place this story in the same genre as “Dumb and Dumber” and (for those of you old enough to remember) “Wayne’s World” or perhaps various National Lampoon stories. It could also be considered an R-rated Scooby-Doo. And this is a compliment.

This story definitely appeals to your inner adolescent. It’s loaded with bathroom humor, sex innuendos, and a sprinkling of bad language which is actually no worse than a typical day on Facebook. The action takes place in a small town in the Pacific Northwest called Big Beaver. As an example of what to expect, this illustrious location has a hair salon called Colette’s Head Job and a female heavy metal band known as the Crap Suzettes. A typical practical joke consists of altering the town’s welcome sign to read, “Welcome to Big Shaved Beaver.”

As typical of such towns, it’s loaded with an assortment of characters. The main character, Duane, is a wealthy yet scruffy hippie type who lives with his father in a cabin deep in the forest. To quote the book, “…not that Duane gave two flying fartolas what anyone thought about his appearance.” The local Native American known as Chief Mocking Bird and nicknamed MB spews Indian wisdom including gems such as, “Man who does a lot of guessing usually guesses wrong” and “Man who always knows what’s around the next corner is one dull dude.” Another character, Walt Bruger, claims to have been abducted by aliens from the planet Abba who were “Swedish-like” in appearance and “modeled the rooms of their spaceship from an IKEA catalogue.” Walt is the town plumber who dresses in a “…professional-looking, dark brown jumpsuit with ‘No dump is too big for a Bruger’ emblazoned on his back in luminous lime green.”

I warned you that it wasn’t intelligent.

The town is being bothered by a rash of incidents perpetrated by a “Phantom Bigfoot Bather” who goes into various residents’ homes and supposedly takes a shower, leaving behind a significant quantity of unidentifiable hair, a horrific stink and typically a donut or other pastry on the toilet seat, which the local sheriff is trying to solve. As if this isn’t enough trouble for female Sheriff Lou, Beau Bruger, son of the illustrious plumber, disappears and the FBI is eventually called in, a duo which comprises none other than her high school sweetheart, the “heartless bastard” who left without saying goodbye. Of course there are some genuine Bigfoot characters involved as well, particularly Zola, a young specimen who’s hopelessly in “wuv” with a human, a definite no-no and of course there is the obligatory paranormal twist. There are subplots galore which bring this story to its full potential of hilarity.

I honestly can’t remember when I’ve laughed out loud more reading a novel; the last book that made me laugh even close to this much was “Bimbos of the Death Sun.”  I thoroughly enjoyed it as a great break from more serious works depicting murder, mayhem, vampires and various other sad or tense situations. If you enjoy this type of humor I highly recommend it. Furthermore, if you know a teenager who’s not interested in anything other than video games and you want to get him (or her) to try reading for a change this would be a great place to start.  While it’s dubbed as Young Adult anyone who’s young at heart and doesn’t take life too seriously should enjoy it.

Fortunately, this hilarious story is a series with numerous other episodes to come which I look forward to reading. It had a very favorable effect on my blood pressure, at least more than anything besides reading that I can mention here.