World UFO Day Flash Sale

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I can’t think of any better way to celebrate World UFO Day on July 9 than a flash sale of my latest release, The Terra Debacle: Prisoners at Area 51. Not only is it on sale for 99c, but A Dark of Endless Days, volume II of The Star Trails Tetralogy, is as well.

Why? Because that’s where The Terra Debacle began. Thus, if you haven’t read it yet, especially if you’re the type who’d like to get it all in context, you can grab that one, too, for a bargain price. (Note that since The Terra Debacle is a standalone book it’s not necessary, but it does fill in numerous blanks.)

So far, The Terra Debacle has been collecting great reviews. Here are some excerpts:

“Scintillating science and side-splitting humor.”

“Unique and titillating sci-fi entertainment.”

“Brilliantly conceived and finely crafted.”

“The research is profound and convincing.”

“Off-the-wall in a way similar to how Tom Robbins grabs the reader & shakes him.”

“A brilliant story, extremely well written and with great character development.”

“Easily comparable to a dark version of ET – The Extraterrestrial”

“Highly entertaining, suspenseful and thought-provoking”

“What an ending! What a story! I will always think differently about plant chloroplasts and bulbs in the future.”

And don’t miss the latest video, which gives you a glimpse of its darker side.

Happy reading! And remember: The truth is out there.

Book Descriptions on the Star Trails Website:

The Terra Debacle

A Dark of Endless Days

Buy Links:

The Terra Debacle

A Dark of Endless Days

The Terra Debacle: Prisoners at Area 51
Stock Photo Copyright:oorka / 123RF Stock Photo
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“Stxeamtown” by John Reinhard Dizon is an Uproarious Steampunk Classic

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“Stxeamtown” by John Reinhold Dizon operates on so many levels that it can only be compared to such works as “The Wizard of Oz,” “Alice in Wonderland” and Orwell’s “Animal Farm.” To say it is brilliant is totally inadequate. Readers of all ages can enjoy its genius, though if you choose to read it as a bedtime story your young children may not understand why you laugh uproariously from time to time.

This brilliant satire creates a vivid post-apocalyptic world in which the few survivors following the “Big Bang” form a variety of societies. This was my first experience with the “steampunk” genre and I must say I thoroughly enjoyed this unusual twist on a post-apocalyptic world. The teenage protagonist is Trip Nortel, short for Amitriptylene, his name credited to the custom of finding baby’s names in pre-Big Bang formulary volumes. Trip is an Abovegrounder, a subculture that lives on the rooftops unbeknownst to the Grounders below due to a perpetual cloud of water vapor that obscures visibility; steam is the primary power source, having been rediscovered following the Big Bang. Abovegrounders are held to strict rules, including the need to be obsequious toward tyrannical “young-uns” by meeting their every demand. Those who don’t follow the rules are “crossed-out,” i.e. given a lobotomy, and sent to the ground below. Those who don’t make trouble don’t fare much better since upon reaching the ripe old age of 30 they, too, are banished. The rules are enforced by Big Boys who maintain limited contact with Traders below.

Trip falls in love with Lyrica, another Abovegrounder who lives on a different rooftop. She’s not only beautiful but wears stitched clothing rather than the wraps worn by most of the others. The two exchange Morse code messages in which they express their affection and finally the day comes that Trip finds his way to Lyrica and the pair makes a precarious escape to the ground, some rooftop friends subsequently joining them.

Once amongst the Grounders, Trip immediately connects with influential people who advise, “He who moves the most paper is the one who goes farthest ahead.” He’s quickly dressed in stitched clothing like the others in styles reminiscent of Dr. Seuss’ world of fantasy. Eager to learn, he soon finds himself elevated to the upper echelons of society. The hero and his girl are instrumental in instituting numerous changes, including starting a school system to educate the Idiots, i.e. those “crossed-out” and cast from the rooftops, so they can reach their full potential. Things get more complicated as their Abovegrounder friends lament receiving unequal benefit from Trip’s influence and stir up trouble by associating with the Traders Guild and the Society of Black Beards who enjoy strong drink. The complications of the culture clash that follows are ultimately solved and of course everyone lives happily ever after.

While this tale is presented in a style similar to the best of fairy tales (which I assume is typical of steampunk), more sophisticated readers will be greatly entertained by recognizing the allegorical themes running throughout the surprisingly intricate plot, colorful characters and their societal predicaments. Dizon’s dry wit is only matched by his genius in creating this must-read allegorical tale that bears a striking resemblance to the world in which we live. If I could give it more than 5 stars, I would.

Don’t miss it! You can pick up your copy on Amazon here.

Rhoda D’Ettore Blog Tour

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Buy Rhoda D’Ettore’s books on Amazon

Coming this Summer…..


ZODIACJUNE

No One Is Safe While…

ZODIAC LIVES

A Novel by Rhoda D’Ettore

After surviving a car accident that killed her father, three-year-old Jennifer begins having nightmares. It’s soon obvious she suffers from something more dreadful than the accident when she provides clues to a murder committed 3,000 miles away—and two decades before she was born.

Jennifer’s nightmares set off a chain reaction that prompts the infamous Zodiac Killer to emerge from dormancy and terrorize San Francisco for a second time.

Visit Rhoda D’Ettore’s Website


BOOKSQUAD

Goin’ Postal & The Creek

Rhoda D’Ettore began her writing career by publishing humorous tales about working at the United States Postal Service. Fifteen years of dealing with bombs, anthrax, and human body parts in the mail made for an interesting read. Her co-workers laughed so hard at the nostalgia, they encouraged her to publish the writings. Since then, D’Ettore has fascinated readers with plot twists mixed with sarcastic humor.

D’Ettore knew postal workers would buy her story, yet she also wanted to show them she could write interesting, serious work with shocking twists. In Goin’ Postal & The Creek, the reader gets two very different stories in one book. The first containing the hysterical tales of postal worker life. The second story is a historical fiction that spans 200 years with a slightly supernatural twist. Topics include war, love, romance, death, Prohibition, the Great Depression, and how families survive such events.


Newborn Nazi

Newborn Nazi tackles the issues of right and wrong as well as self sacrifice when fourteen-year-old Edmund is forced into the Hitler Youth in 1935. His older siblings vow to destroy Nazi Germany, and the family gets swept up in espionage and the Underground Movement. When Edmund becomes an adult and joins the feared SS, his sister’s secret endeavors to save Jews in her home endangers lives—including her own. This suspense thriller is sure to keep you guessing.

Newborn Nazi is based on Rhoda D’Ettore true family history. There was an Edmund who was forced into the Hitler Youth, and his sister did help Jews escape. D’Ettore found the story so riveting, she took the plot of the story and added murder and espionage to create this intense thriller.


Tower of Tears: The McClusky Series 1

In Tower of Tears: The McClusky Series, we find Jane traveling to America from Ireland with her three-year-old son. Expecting to find a better way of life, Jane finds nothing but intimidation, betrayal, violence, and heartache. This family saga includes blackmail, murder, mystery, and a touch of romance.

While writing Tower of Tears, D’Ettore gave her mother one chapter at a time for feedback. D’Ettore was undecided who the murderer in the book would eventually be, so she wrote the story with five characters hating and threatening the murder victim. Halfway through the book, D’Ettore’s mother shouted, “I know who killed him…. it was ####”. D’Ettore then finished the book with a different character as the murderer. When her mother read the final draft of the book, she replied, “That’s not who the murder is. I told you who is was.” D’Ettore then said, “I wrote the book, so I know who the murderer should be. Thanks.”


10 Shades of Blush: The Softer Side of Kink

10 Shades of Blush: The Softer Side of Kink is a collection of naughty fantasies of ordinary women. Teachers, mothers, and professionals submitted their wants and desires for kinky fun. All the tales are told as if the women are speaking directly to their partners. The audiobook of this has been called “Two hours of phone sex for $7”.

Rhoda D’Ettore works are available as ebook, paperback, and audiobooks

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Review of “Phantom Bigfoot and the Haunted House”

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In this episode of the Phantom Bigfoot trilogy Duane meets his match in the ghost of Old Man Peabody whose eternal slumber is disturbed not only by pranks that threatened the sanctity of his commode but the need to resolve an old-time Big Beaver feud. While Duane continues to fret over whether Lou and “the Verge” will ever get together he finds his Phantom Bigfoot image tarnished by the antics of a true phantom bigfoot who can pass through walls in the tradition of the slime master in Ghostbusters.

I was disappointed in the ending of this volume, mostly because it was indeed an ending. The plot twists were resolved, the Swedish-looking aliens from the planet Abba returned and all was restored to its natural order amidst bigfoot weddings with a famous alien-abducted rockstar (who will remain nameless so as to avoid being a spoiler) for entertainment. I will miss the characters of Big Beaver and their crazy antics which brought me to tearful hysterical laughter numerous times during my virtual visits. If you enjoy off-the-wall humor in the tradition of Mel Brooks and National Lampoon you will enjoy this trilogy which I found tremendously entertaining. No matter how stressful my day had been I knew I’d go to sleep with a smile on my face when I was reading one of Simon’s Phantom Bigfoot stories.

CONNECT WITH SIMON

Twitter: @simonokill

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/simon.okill

http://www.amazon.com/Phantom-Bigfoot-Haunted-House-Book-ebook/dp/B00LQITBOQ/

Interview With Simon Okill Author of the Phantom Bigfoot Series

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MF: What was your original inspiration for the Phantom Bigfoot series?

SO: Me and my big feet always getting in my big mouth and our Burmese cat. Oh boy is she naughty or what which perfectly describes Phantom Bigfoot?

MF: These stories are some of the funniest I’ve read in a long time.   Is it as much fun to write as it is to read?

SO: I was the court jester in school always in trouble for practical jokes and I guess I never really grew out of it so I turned those mad days into Phantom Bigfoot’s adventures. It’s very therapeutic writing stupid stuff that readers enjoy and bringing a smile to them makes my writing that much more satisfying.

MF: Just because a story is preposterous along the lines of National Lampoon or a Mel Brook’s film doesn’t mean it’s poorly written. Your writing style is strong and well-developed which contributes greatly to the story, particularly the vivid descriptions. What else have you written or is this your first foray into fiction?

SO: Thank you Marcha for your kind words. In between my Phantom Bigfoot Series 1-3 I found the time to step into my dark side and write my Luna Series – a two part Gothic vampire romance set in an asylum in France 1925.

MF: Is Big Beaver, the location of your story, based on a real place or entirely a figment of your imagination?

SO: It’s a collection of memories from old westerns, The Waltons and a few horror movies thrown in for good measure. Whether Wyatt Earp actually stayed in Big Beaver is a matter for the historians to decide.

MF: You mentioned to me previously in a chat that much of Phantom Bigfoot’s language is based on your cat, such as the word “smet,” which expresses frustration. Tell us a little about your Burmese cat.

SO: She asked me not to mention her name, she’s a little on the shy side. What’s that, oh yeah, she asked me to tell you all she is a purrfect little princess and never bites the hand that feeds her. Right, as if! I have the scars to prove otherwise. Smet is the noise she makes when she’s really pissed and spits through her nose.

MF: It takes a special talent to write ribald humor. Without skillful descriptions it’s no more than crude and often vulgar but you somehow bring it to an art form. Do you consider yourself funny in real life?

SO: I always try to see the funny side of life which often gets me into trouble. Phantom Bigfoot abides. Once while on holiday, I fell off a 5 bar gate and landed in a dung heap. Unable to wash the muck off I proceeded into a pub and sat down for lunch much to the disgust of other patrons.

MF: Do friends or relatives give you a bad time about the content of your writing or is it what they’d expect from you?

SO: They think I’m all the way bonkers and come to expect that which you have read.

MF: I love Lou and get more laughs out of Walt, the “sewage extraction expert,” than anyone. Who is your favorite character?

SO: Duane is basically me toned down a bit for family viewing. Okay this is gross but true – I was the kid most likely to get beaten up in school due to my lack of height and would have my sarnies eaten by bullies – that’s sandwiches for the uninitiated. Having gotten quite fed up with this daily ritual I played the coolest joke ever and said bullies were rushed to hospital to have their stomachs pumped after eating what they thought were my sausage sandwiches. Need I say more, heehehehhehh!

MF: Are any of your characters based on real people? Or can’t you say?

SO: Well Duane is me, but there is a little of everyone I know from my home town, nuances, character traits, weird habits, even from people I don’t know like whatshisname across the street.

MF: Is there any chance that you may return to Big Beaver in the future or do you intend to let all the werebigfoot characters rest in peace?

SO: Big loaded question – my fans would be most upset if I didn’t continue – so I will next year with 3 more novellas describing Phantom Bigfoot’s adventures in foreign lands.

MF: Do you plan to write anything serious in the future or stick to humor?

SO: My next two books are both comedies, a romantic comedy about alien abduction and a horror comedy set in Cornwall and my own town of Llantwit Major, which is very old and full of ghosty stuff. However, I do have a completed horror novel that retells WWII from two German brothers’ POV, and once edited could be on the shelves early next year.

MF: Do you have any works in progress (WIPs)? Would you like to tell us something about them?

SO: “Hot in Bigelow” is a romantic comedy about stranded aliens who must find the most intelligent man on Earth to get them back home, problem is Bigelow is full of morons. “Murder Most Deadly” is a scary but funny horror following Bianca’s exploits as she murders her way to wealth, but has to contend with the deceased wanting revenge. Set in beautiful Cornwall and Llantwit Major S Wales.

CONNECT WITH SIMON

Twitter: @simonokill

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/simon.okill

PHANTOM BIGFOOT SERIES

http://www.amazon.com/Phantom-Bigfoot-Strikes-Again-Book-ebook/dp/B00H5Y2AWU/

http://www.amazon.com/Phantom-Bigfoot-Vampettes-Venus-Book-ebook/dp/B00IYRXIDC/

http://www.amazon.com/Phantom-Bigfoot-Haunted-House-Book-ebook/dp/B00LQITBOQ/

PHANTOM BIGFOOT & THE VAMPETTES FROM VENUS: Another Raunchy, Ridiculous Uproarious Ride Thru Big Beaver

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In the worthy tradition of the first book of the Phantom Bigfoot series, this one did an excellent job sustaining the action and tacky humor. Not that I have anything against tacky humor because I certainly enjoyed it and laughed as much as before. It was as if the author was just getting warmed up in the first episode. One thing I do want to mention, however, is that before you read this or any subsequent ones you should start with “Phantom Bigfoot Strikes Again.” What makes these stories so endearing is the array of characters which populate them, making it more enjoyable if you start at the beginning and thus have all the context. Otherwise some of the jokes and references won’t make as much sense and you’ll miss out on some of the humor and innuendos which become inside jokes for Phantom Bigfoot fans.

The author does an admirable job developing real and convincing characters which make you feel as if you’re a part of this crazy little California town called Big Beaver. Their personalities are well drawn such that I can now see and hear (and in some cases smell) them in my mind. You would think that outrageous bathroom humor would not include excellent character development yet it does, adding significantly to the story. Consider how much the personality of the characters in various funny movies is inherently tied to the situations whether it’s Dr. Venkman in “Ghostbusters,” Otto in “A Fish Called Wanda,” Frank the Tank in “Old School” or Alan in “The Hangover.” Humor most often results from human action and reaction which is driven by personality, making those involved essential to the story’s delivery. In this, Okill succeeds and therefore gets a “high five.”

There were some parts which actually got a little serious. Not horribly or tragically so, but rather enough to induce a bit of worry that one of the main characters may have lost some of his “edge.” Fortunately, this spell did not last long and by the horrendously disgusting and suitably hilarious grand finale I must say that this sequel matched and possibly exceeded the Funny Factor of the first, a major accomplishment in itself.

If you enjoy old Indian wisdom that declares “man who depends on watch will be late for the rest of his life;” descriptions such as “the Bigfoot had large swinging boobs indicating she was a female”; or bits of scientific truth such as “the human fart is pure methane gas” then you’ll enjoy this book. Indeed the final chapter is a piece of work beyond description that had me laughing so hard my cats left the room, apparently thinking I’d lost my mind. I’d love to share some excerpts which have the potential to become classics but don’t want to be accused of being a spoiler. If you’ve made it through this review without being grossed out then you should read this book. Laughter is truly the best medicine.

http://www.amazon.com/Phantom-Bigfoot-Vampettes-Venus-Book-ebook/dp/B00IYRXIDC/

PHANTOM BIGFOOT STRIKES AGAIN: Silly, stupid, sophomoric and outrageously hilarious

If you’re looking for an intelligent read, rest assured this ain’t it, though the cover should provide adequate warning. I would place this story in the same genre as “Dumb and Dumber” and (for those of you old enough to remember) “Wayne’s World” or perhaps various National Lampoon stories. It could also be considered an R-rated Scooby-Doo. And this is a compliment.

This story definitely appeals to your inner adolescent. It’s loaded with bathroom humor, sex innuendos, and a sprinkling of bad language which is actually no worse than a typical day on Facebook. The action takes place in a small town in the Pacific Northwest called Big Beaver. As an example of what to expect, this illustrious location has a hair salon called Colette’s Head Job and a female heavy metal band known as the Crap Suzettes. A typical practical joke consists of altering the town’s welcome sign to read, “Welcome to Big Shaved Beaver.”

As typical of such towns, it’s loaded with an assortment of characters. The main character, Duane, is a wealthy yet scruffy hippie type who lives with his father in a cabin deep in the forest. To quote the book, “…not that Duane gave two flying fartolas what anyone thought about his appearance.” The local Native American known as Chief Mocking Bird and nicknamed MB spews Indian wisdom including gems such as, “Man who does a lot of guessing usually guesses wrong” and “Man who always knows what’s around the next corner is one dull dude.” Another character, Walt Bruger, claims to have been abducted by aliens from the planet Abba who were “Swedish-like” in appearance and “modeled the rooms of their spaceship from an IKEA catalogue.” Walt is the town plumber who dresses in a “…professional-looking, dark brown jumpsuit with ‘No dump is too big for a Bruger’ emblazoned on his back in luminous lime green.”

I warned you that it wasn’t intelligent.

The town is being bothered by a rash of incidents perpetrated by a “Phantom Bigfoot Bather” who goes into various residents’ homes and supposedly takes a shower, leaving behind a significant quantity of unidentifiable hair, a horrific stink and typically a donut or other pastry on the toilet seat, which the local sheriff is trying to solve. As if this isn’t enough trouble for female Sheriff Lou, Beau Bruger, son of the illustrious plumber, disappears and the FBI is eventually called in, a duo which comprises none other than her high school sweetheart, the “heartless bastard” who left without saying goodbye. Of course there are some genuine Bigfoot characters involved as well, particularly Zola, a young specimen who’s hopelessly in “wuv” with a human, a definite no-no and of course there is the obligatory paranormal twist. There are subplots galore which bring this story to its full potential of hilarity.

I honestly can’t remember when I’ve laughed out loud more reading a novel; the last book that made me laugh even close to this much was “Bimbos of the Death Sun.”  I thoroughly enjoyed it as a great break from more serious works depicting murder, mayhem, vampires and various other sad or tense situations. If you enjoy this type of humor I highly recommend it. Furthermore, if you know a teenager who’s not interested in anything other than video games and you want to get him (or her) to try reading for a change this would be a great place to start.  While it’s dubbed as Young Adult anyone who’s young at heart and doesn’t take life too seriously should enjoy it.

Fortunately, this hilarious story is a series with numerous other episodes to come which I look forward to reading. It had a very favorable effect on my blood pressure, at least more than anything besides reading that I can mention here.

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http://www.amazon.com/Phantom-Bigfoot-Strikes-Again-Book-ebook/dp/B00H5Y2AWU/

Dizon’s “Stxeamtown” Elevates Steampunk to its Best Satirical Potential

“Stxeamtown” by John Reinhold Dizon was my introduction to the “steampunk” genre which I didn’t even realize existed at the time.  I saw it as a hilarious satire, which apparently is the intent of the genre generally.  This particular book operates on so many levels that it can only be compared to such works as “The Wizard of Oz,” “Alice in Wonderland” and Orwell’s “Animal Farm.”  Readers of all ages can enjoy its genius though if you choose to read it as a bedtime story your young children may not understand why you laugh uproariously from time to time.

This brilliant satire creates a vivid post-apocalyptic world in which the few survivors following the “Big Bang” form a variety of societies.  The teenage protagonist is Trip Nortel, short for Amitriptylene, his name credited to the custom of finding baby’s names in pre-Big Bang formulary volumes.  Trip is an Abovegrounder, a subculture that lives on the rooftops unbeknownst to the Grounders below due to a perpetual cloud of water vapor that obscures visibility; steam is the primary power source, having been rediscovered following the Big Bang.  Abovegrounders are held to strict rules, including the need to be obsequious toward tyrannical “young-uns” by meeting their every demand.  Those who don’t follow the rules are “crossed-out,” i.e. given a lobotomy, and sent to the ground below.  Those who don’t make trouble don’t fare much better since upon reaching the ripe old age of 30 they, too, are banished.  The rules are enforced by Big Boys who maintain limited contact with Traders below.

Trip falls in love with Lyrica, another Abovegrounder who lives on a different rooftop.  She’s not only beautiful but wears stitched clothing rather than the wraps worn by most of the others. The two exchange Morse code messages in which they express their affection and finally the day comes that Trip finds his way to Lyrica and the pair makes a precarious escape to the ground, some rooftop friends subsequently joining them.

Once amongst the Grounders, Trip immediately connects with influential people who advise, “He who moves the most paper is the one who goes farthest ahead.”  He’s quickly dressed in stitched clothing like the others in styles reminiscent of Dr. Seuss’ world of fantasy.  Eager to learn, he soon finds himself elevated to the upper echelons of society.  The hero and his girl are instrumental in instituting numerous changes, including starting a school system to educate the Idiots, i.e. those “crossed-out” and cast from the rooftops, so they can reach their full potential.  Things get more complicated as their Abovegrounder friends lament receiving unequal benefit from Trip’s influence and stir up trouble by associating with the Traders Guild and the Society of Black Beards who enjoy strong drink. The complications of the culture clash that follows are ultimately solved and of course everyone lives happily ever after.

While this tale is presented in a style similar to the best of fairy tales, more sophisticated readers will be greatly entertained by recognizing the allegorical themes running throughout the surprisingly intricate plot, colorful characters and their societal predicaments.  Dizon’s dry wit is only matched by his genius in creating this must-read allegorical tale that bears a striking resemblance to the world in which we live.