PHANTOM BIGFOOT STRIKES AGAIN: Silly, stupid, sophomoric and outrageously hilarious

If you’re looking for an intelligent read, rest assured this ain’t it, though the cover should provide adequate warning. I would place this story in the same genre as “Dumb and Dumber” and (for those of you old enough to remember) “Wayne’s World” or perhaps various National Lampoon stories. It could also be considered an R-rated Scooby-Doo. And this is a compliment.

This story definitely appeals to your inner adolescent. It’s loaded with bathroom humor, sex innuendos, and a sprinkling of bad language which is actually no worse than a typical day on Facebook. The action takes place in a small town in the Pacific Northwest called Big Beaver. As an example of what to expect, this illustrious location has a hair salon called Colette’s Head Job and a female heavy metal band known as the Crap Suzettes. A typical practical joke consists of altering the town’s welcome sign to read, “Welcome to Big Shaved Beaver.”

As typical of such towns, it’s loaded with an assortment of characters. The main character, Duane, is a wealthy yet scruffy hippie type who lives with his father in a cabin deep in the forest. To quote the book, “…not that Duane gave two flying fartolas what anyone thought about his appearance.” The local Native American known as Chief Mocking Bird and nicknamed MB spews Indian wisdom including gems such as, “Man who does a lot of guessing usually guesses wrong” and “Man who always knows what’s around the next corner is one dull dude.” Another character, Walt Bruger, claims to have been abducted by aliens from the planet Abba who were “Swedish-like” in appearance and “modeled the rooms of their spaceship from an IKEA catalogue.” Walt is the town plumber who dresses in a “…professional-looking, dark brown jumpsuit with ‘No dump is too big for a Bruger’ emblazoned on his back in luminous lime green.”

I warned you that it wasn’t intelligent.

The town is being bothered by a rash of incidents perpetrated by a “Phantom Bigfoot Bather” who goes into various residents’ homes and supposedly takes a shower, leaving behind a significant quantity of unidentifiable hair, a horrific stink and typically a donut or other pastry on the toilet seat, which the local sheriff is trying to solve. As if this isn’t enough trouble for female Sheriff Lou, Beau Bruger, son of the illustrious plumber, disappears and the FBI is eventually called in, a duo which comprises none other than her high school sweetheart, the “heartless bastard” who left without saying goodbye. Of course there are some genuine Bigfoot characters involved as well, particularly Zola, a young specimen who’s hopelessly in “wuv” with a human, a definite no-no and of course there is the obligatory paranormal twist. There are subplots galore which bring this story to its full potential of hilarity.

I honestly can’t remember when I’ve laughed out loud more reading a novel; the last book that made me laugh even close to this much was “Bimbos of the Death Sun.”  I thoroughly enjoyed it as a great break from more serious works depicting murder, mayhem, vampires and various other sad or tense situations. If you enjoy this type of humor I highly recommend it. Furthermore, if you know a teenager who’s not interested in anything other than video games and you want to get him (or her) to try reading for a change this would be a great place to start.  While it’s dubbed as Young Adult anyone who’s young at heart and doesn’t take life too seriously should enjoy it.

Fortunately, this hilarious story is a series with numerous other episodes to come which I look forward to reading. It had a very favorable effect on my blood pressure, at least more than anything besides reading that I can mention here.